Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Fun Things To Do At Airport Security.

All of which I’ve done and they’re very satisfying.

1. As you remove your jacket or shoes, hum The Stripper.

2. Don’t take your shoes off ‘till the last minute – and if anybody asks you why, snap, “Only prisoners sluff along in line in their socks.”

3. Wear very high-laced shoes or boots and sit on their tables to undo them (slowly) and take them off.

4. Baa like a sheep in line. Or moo like a cow.

5. Drop your ID and say, “Oops! Dropped my plasteek!”

6. Reply to snapped orders with a very loud and pointed “You’re welcome” until snapper begins to mumble “please” and “thank you.”

Admittedly this will get your baggage damaged and things stolen – been there, done that – but pack the good stuff with you and just accept it as part of the good fight. It’s SOOOOO worth it.

Isn't there a song someplace with "Katrina" in the lyrics?

Accepting suggestions or good stories of things to do to -- or you've done to -- airport security.

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