Sunday, November 25, 2018

Vegan - Not eating Eyeballs or Sweat.

In 2018, I told Dan, "The way meat's disappearing from our diet, we might as well go vegan."

He responded, "Yeah, let's do that."

This has resulted in experiments. We're really what's called Freegan - if somebody gives us meat, we'll eat it. But at the food bank, I opted out of turkey for more canned tomatoes, flour, celery, stuff like that. Here's how to have a pretty tasty Thanksgiving.

Most of the side dishes are vegan, anyway. To make gravy, just use a light miso. It's the rescue for everything. And always add a tad of malt vinegar for fermented sour flavor. For a really meaty flavor, add a shake of garlic. It adds that armpit flavor that comes from animal flesh and sweat glands. What? Let's be real here about animal parts.


Vegan gravy

1 cup water
3 tablespoons veggie oil
1 tablespoon light miso
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 tablespoon corn starch.

Simmer first four ingredients in sauce pan. Mix corn starch with a little water, pour slowly into pan, stirring constantly. Stir until gravy becomes translucent. Tastes amazingly like mushrooms.

Vegan butter

1 cup coconut oil, melted
1/3 cup liquid veggie oil 
Tablespoon of malt vinegar
Tablespoon of light miso
Sprinkle of salt
Pinch of turmeric (for color)

Mix, pour into container, refrigerate, use like butter. If there's any leftover miso scum at the bottom, pour off and use in gravy or something.

Vegan sour cream/mayonnaise/whipped cream

Throw into a blender (including immersion kind):
A cake of tofu, with a bit of its package water.
A splash each of malt vinegar and veggie oil.


Vegan Cheese Whiz

Add some light miso to the "sour cream." Works on pizza.

Vegan Bacon (Great in BLTs)

Freeze a cake of tofu, thaw, press.

Slice, marinate in soy sauce, a veggie oil, smoked paprika (and a little sugar or honey if you like it sweet).

Slow dry with whatever you have. It's great on a wood stove because you can put it on the back of the stove and it caramelizes a bit. Dry the tofu until chewy, turning once. Even the carnivores up here love this stuff.''

Vegan Crumbled Hamburger

This is for the crumble you put on pizza or in a tamalĂ©. 

Five cups dry-cooked rice
Three tablespoons dark miso (if using light miso, add a 1/4 cup soy sauce for color)
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1 onion (optional, size your choice)

Mix thoroughly everything but onion. Place in fry pan, slowly fry, stirring occasionally, until consistency of crumbled hamburger. If you like onion with your hamburger, chop fine, stir in thoroughly, fry slowly until translucent. Use immediately, or refrigerate or freeze. Can't say how long it will last - it never lasts that long.