Greens, Ghosts - and Fake Greens.

Goddesses just do what they want.

From about 1998-2002, I did a comic strip series, "Rental Goddess," for the magazine PanGaia. I forgot how many I'd done, because most of the pages went to San Diego State Special Collections. 

So out of the blue, the proofreader for the magazine sends me paper copies of all the strips, including the introduction of the Deity Kun-Rah, Goddess of Not putting Up With Crap. Damn, these are funny. And what timing! As soon as my lovely new friend scans 'em, I can post 'em at Webcomicsnation. 

So I guess I'd better get to the work of Not Putting Up With Crap, because Kun-Rah says so, and I don't want to meet her third ritual.

There are two futures for all of us - and I do mean all.

If you're a Green, if you really try to limit your footprint on the earth - regardless of how completely successful you may be - if you realize your position as a human on the earth, then you're going to survive, or at least the younger people around you have a better chance of survival. 

Admittedly, there will be a couple generations of misery, if any of us do make it, but we can remember who survived - and who didn't - and why. Greed will be of evil memory, and a terrible warning, the province of ghosts.

The Greeds will all be Ghosts. And your chances for making it into the future will depend on what you really do, not what you pretend to be. It doesn't matter if you're a Fake Green. A lot of Greeds are realizing it's good to come off as a Green. Why? Do they think we'll be more likely to feed them, in the coming bad days? Of course we shall - but their own shortcomings are taking out their DNA, even now.

But you can spot Fake Greens, because they don't walk the walk.

1. You may be all artsy, hippie-dippie and spiritual, but if you puff yourself up over your brother who killed a cougar, bragging how long its tail is (and how Freudian is THAT?), you're a Fake Green.

2. If the first thing out of your mouth about the end of food stamps in the US is how people in Australia showed up in sports cars to scam the system - assuming that, if a few people are butt-heads, everybody should starve - you're a Fake Green.

3. If you tell people nobody has to worry about local conditions - endangering their future - because your god told you "there would be no tsunami," you're definitely a Fake Green. And a mean one, at that.

4. You're Green, and you start "intellectual discussions" on why the 2nd Amendment can't be updated or nothin'? I think I'll just stick to the reason gunbillies are going to end up Ghosts; practicalities. I have a scary feeling they think they can get sulfur and saltpeter by just running down to the local garden store. They're all into the Frontier, but seem to forget the Frontier was the creep of civilization - and even Mountain Men had to come back in every 6 months or so to get flour, sugar, salt, coffee - and gunpowder. If the environment REALLY collapses back down onto a handful of gasping humans, we're going to all find out how hard it is to get salt, let alone sulfur. If you really want to be Green, you might want to start figuring out how to build a really good bow and arrow - by hand, not bought at Wal-Mart - or, more simply, learn to make nooses and nets and fishing line. Start now; it's not as easy as it looks, and takes a lot more time than you think.

On the other hand, if you don't think of yourself as Green, but you feed the poor, save animals, clean beaches, take only what you need and try to give back and be grateful, and can make a Hoko River splinter knife out of what you found on the beach - you're a Green. 

Greens party better, and we're going to survive. Come to the verdant side.