And me without a spoon...

Well, that's it.

Gonna have to catch and fix all these feral cats.

Been putting out food for starving cats all winter, mumbling about catch and fix. Got the SNAP program up here -- Spay And Neuter Your Cats.

Cats were all well-behaved and purry all winter. All glossy come spring.

And then came May....

Oh, God. Cats screwing in the middle of the road (trucks slowing down and the drivers and passengers laughing their fool heads off). Cats screwing on our porch and under our car. Our old cat, Spuds, stepped outside, sat down with an appalled look on his face, and demanded to be let inside again. Well, he's one to talk with his ragged ears. Nothing like a retired roue for being ultra-prude.

Then Pumpkin (I named 'em so I could talk to Dan about 'em) showed up with a HUGE swollen abcess on his head. I'll bet Goucho did it. Size of a tennis ball.

Now Pumpkin used to be real friendly, I could even pick him up -- but a hurt cat is a wary cat.

Moose Parker let me borrow his live trap. Didn't even know me. All he said was, "What are you going to do with the cats?" "Fix 'em and release 'em," I said. "And take one of 'em to the vet, because he's got a big ol' abcess on his head."

That was okay with Moose.

And all I did was catch Creamsicle, and then didn't manage to get him into a cat carrier. Rats. So now he's even more nervous.

Meanwhile, Iki, the little plump long-haired tabby-point Himalyan kinda thing, is prancing along, fluffy tail in the air, her big BLUE eyes just as wide and innocent, with all these toms paying court and humping her like a basketball team. Oh, she is such a CHEERFUL little slut. A regular bitty Mae West.

Anyway, I had to take the cage back Saturday, because Moose needed it again (is it the only one in town?). And the vet was out of town all next week. I spoke to his wife about how generous and trusting he had been and she said, "That's Moose for you."

Then I tried to grab Pumpkin.

Got him by the scruff and back, and he turned over howling. I couldn't get the blanket over him -- and he leaped loose.

And that abcess sent a flying spurt of green pus a foot out of his head.

Oh, gag. Oh puke. Oh I about fainted.

I can gut fish and clean up shit and all, but that much green pus -- I will never be a vet.

Pumpkin seemed much relieved. First pus, then red matter dripped down the side of his head. Then he got it clean.

A couple days later, he has a nice, flat clean scab about the size of a silver dollar. And is back to calling Iki to the food bowls.

I'm going to get my own live trap -- and then ALL these damn cats are getting fixed and released.

I'm not dealing with any more pus.